There is a Lion Inside.

I can be lazy.

Laziness is something that can become very natural for me. Last April, I tipped the scales at 315 lbs and I was humiliated when I read the number looking back at me. I had been lying to myself. Often I would recite that I wasn't fat—I was big boned. Before last April I was telling myself, "I'm not obese I'm just a little fat."

That same month I remember a moment at a department store where I found myself in tears. I had just finished trying the only pair of pants that might fit. They weren't in my size. They were "two sizes" larger than what I was wearing but the fit was very tight. Truth is that they weren't only two sizes bigger. This pair were called "loose fit" pants. Loose fit is code for "you can't handle the truth and so we as retailers are going to help you feel better about yourself by labeling them as a smaller size".

If that wasn't enough shame.... This pair of pants had elastic bands that allowed the waste to be stretched even more. With this stretching help I could barely put them on. My best guess is that this pair of pants were probably true 50s at the waist.

Going through my late teens and 20s, I had accepted my lot in life. I was destined to be a fat. But I had standards. I wouldn’t allow myself to wear anything larger than 42s. All my lies were crumbling under the weight of the truth. As this realization hit me I sat there in the dressing room wearing tight 50s, crying in the shame of it all.

The lazy person claims, “There’s a lion out there! If I go outside, I might be killed!” (Proverbs 22:13 NLT)

I was reading through the Bible and I came across this text. At first I didn’t understand the text so I did a little research. Apparently, In the days of King Solomon it was common for lazy people to come up with outlandish excuses. These excuses would be their reasoning for not being able to go out and work.

In this text we are told that the subject was afraid that if he were to leave his house he would be killed by a lion. This excuse kept him indoors away from the fields. Because of this laziness the man couldn’t go and provide for himself a living.

I’ve never had an issue with work (gainful employment). However, I have had an issue with being too lazy to exercise. I have had an issue with not cooking and instead preferring fast food. I have also had a challenge with working toward goals that are “hard”. Most things tend to come easy to me but when something new or something important is too hard I find that excuses are easier.

This laziness and these excuses helped me hit rock bottom. This new low for me also helped me realize that I needed to change. I needed to do something different with my life because the trajectory that I was on was no longer acceptable.

As I tipped the scales at 315 pounds and having a waist that was about 50 inches…. I told myself, “I will not lie to myself anymore. I am fat and I need a change.”

Since last April I have lost 35 pounds and I am back down to wearing true 42s not the loose fitting kind. (Psst… I can almost fit in 40s.) As I look back at the last few months the reality is that this lifestyle change was a lot easier than embracing the truth for the first time. Once I found the bravery to stop lying to myself change became easier. I found that there wasn’t a lion out there but rather the lion was in my mind.

What have you been lying to yourself about? Maybe this lie, this excuse, is your lion that is trying to eat you alive.

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